Thursday Rant: Three Types of People

TR #6: Three Types of People

After sharing a series of sexuality chapels this week, I've been thinking about how it will impact the student body. Who will take things to heart? Who will actually change? What will sink in? What will people believe and then do?

These are similar questions to the ones that I have any time that I offer coaching advice or direction. What will you believe? Will you be able to change?

In thinking about this, I've come up with a theory. It's not a real worked out theory, but it is one that I see a lot of truth in. When it comes to advice, help, coaching and the like, there are three types of people in the world.

#1: Those who think and process.
When given coaching or advice, the first type of person thinks about what is said to them. Usually, they will then try to put the advice into practice. The important part about this person isn't whether they do what they are told, but why they do or don't do it. If you ask this person, they could tell you why they, for example, hit their forehand with a semi-western grip instead of a full western grip. Or, they could tell you why they believe that war is wrong. These people are full of ideas and process new ideas well.

As a consequence, they sometimes will escape the experiences that could cause them harm. This is because they have processed their decisions all the way through what the consequences will be. Often, others will look at this type of person and complain that they are "goody two-shoes" or something like that, when in reality they are simply thinking and making good decisions.

#2: Those who will have to learn from experience.
The second type of person is one who may listen to advice or coaching but won't necessarily put it into practice. They believe that their own way is right. However, they will change on one condition. They will change when they see their own way fail or bring pain upon themselves. For example, this is the high school athlete who believes it is okay to drink alcohol, as long as they don't get caught. But then when they get caught in their junior year, and are suspended for half the season, they realize they've made a mistake and therefore don't drink during their senior year. This is the tennis player who won't attack the net in doubles because "they aren't comfortable at the net," then loses their first five matches before they decide to change.

This type of person is manageable but frustrating. Seriously frustrating in a team sport where the whole team may have to suffer in order for this person to learn a lesson. It's happened to my tennis teams before, and I'm sure it will happen again. But the change has to come in the thinking and deciding. This person needs help realizing that they could be wrong, and putting into practice others good advice. This type of person also struggles with the "why" question, often not knowing why they do something a certain way but still wanting not to change.

#3: Those who have chosen to never learn.
The last type of person is one that is encountered often in our American society, but I haven't had to deal with as much in my time at Bethany. But we have had a few. This is the person who will not change, who always believes they are right, and who is full of a lot of pride. No matter how many times they are proven wrong, they can't come to admit it. This can often cause them to be confrontational (and even violent) because when pressed with an obvious flaw in their beliefs they will not take time to process it but instead become angry for its being brought up at all.

I've dealt with this type of tennis player before, and the honest truth is you just can't coach them. There is always opportunity to change, but this type of player kills a team. The lack of humility infuriates others, and the continual failure without adjustment infuriates the coach.

So, that happens throughout the world. I know people can change, and prevent themselves a whole lot of hurt in doing so. I've myself gone through a transformation from high school to college until now. I suppose it's part of the maturity process. But it is always better when the maturity starts early.

So who are you?